The struggles of growing up, losing friendships, and a new promise to myself.

If it's one thing I've noticed about growing up it's that friends are hard to keep, and even harder to find. Lately it feels like friendships mostly consist of going out and drinking, when did that change happen? When did we as humans have to have alcohol in order to have fun. Most of the time it doesn't even end of being fun, it ends up being people crying, fighting, fighting with boyfriends, and someones feelings getting hurt. I don't know why it's like this, but it is. Alcohol does bring up the demons in people, and most of them are ugly. I personally have just lost a few friendships because of this. It's not worth what it causes to us, it's not. Losing friendships is something I haven't had to deal with in a long time, for about 3 years. I've had the same set of friends since I was 14, and as hard as this is. I'm attempting to see the positive in the situation. I've learned that friends will so easily throw away a friendship because of words exchanged while under the influence, I personally am not okay with it. I am stepping because and realizing a lot about my generation. I don't want to be them, I don't want to get drunk every night. I don't want to not remember my nights. I am a mother, and I don't need that. So I guess  to the new promise to myself, I am promising that for awhile I will not be drinking. I don't know how long it's going to be for but I am setting a goal of at least 6 months. I am also saying that whenever I do start drinking again, it won't so I can get drunk, it will be over dinner or something of those sorts. A family toast, at a wedding. That will be it, I don't want to be wild and crazy anymore, I've had enough nights not remembered. Here's to remembering every night and getting my life on the path it should be.